IN BRUGES.....THE MOVIE REVIEW

When Colin Farrell walked up to the stage to pick up his award for "Best Supporting Actor" in a motion picture for "In Bruges" at the Golden Globes. I thought " Wow, what a surprise. I remember seeing it go in and out of the theatres but I wouldn't imagine that it would be good". Well I was RIGHT!

This movie is a 50/50 shot. You either are going to like it. Or hate it. Since I am leaning towards the "hate it". I will try to explain my reasons for such a not "so bad" film.

Colin Farrell(Ray)and Brendan Gleeson(Ken) play two hit men who are sent by their boss(played by always great Ralph Finnes)to Bruges to hide away after a botched assignation of a priest. In the process of killing the priest ( which is never really explained WHY the priest had to be killed other than for money) kills a little boy by accident.

Colin hate Bruges while his partner Brendan wonders in Bruges fine medieval history and culture. We follow Colin's character(Ray) insult, Americans, Gays, Fat People,The Dutch, and even a dwarf. I guess at some point the viewer is supposed to like this person despite his guilt for killing the child. Never mind that he feels no guilt in killing and innocent priest.

Not to give away most of the story. Ken has orders from the boss to whack Ray for killing the child Oh, did I forget to tell you that this film is supposed to be a 'black comedy"? The laughs are at minimal and it plays like a bloke at a pub telling you a story after drinking 8 pints of Guinness.

Just a note to the person who wrote this shit. When a person gets shot by a "talon" bullet (dumdum as described in the movie). The bullet tears a hole though the body making it almost impossible for a person to walk upstairs or even a few feet and talk at the same time. And when a person falls from a bell tower. He's probably not going to be capable of having a light conversation before his finally dies.






Can't blame the actors once again for this madness. But Colin performance was NOT deserving of a Golden Globe for this crock of delightful shit.

On the "MTB" movie scale of one (being pure ass piece of shit) to ten (being the best I have seen in a while). In Burges gets a nice six. I gave a few extra point for amazing Belgium scenery and Ralph Finnes performance.

CHARLIE BARTLETT.......THE REVIEW

Well since this is our very first movie review. Let me explain how this works. Some of the movies will be new. Some of them (like Charlie Bartlett) will be movies that are currently on rental or to purchase. This is our review and you can do with it what you please. But we are not in the business of "sugar coating" nor endorsing a film nor have a strong bias towards it's actors nor the studio . We just want to give our spin. We just want to let you know is the movie worth spending 10 dollars and up on or buying it as a 4 for $20 deal at Blockbuster.

With that understood.........let's rock


CHARLIE BARTLETT is about a not so typical rich White kid (Anton Yelchin) with a well created problem. I love it when a movie creates a character that I could NEVER relate to because if I was 18 and had the money he did. I would be doing something constructive with my life. Rather than getting kicked out of every private school in the area and my parents condoning the behavior as just going through a " phase".

Well Charlie is sent to public school where he walks in wearing on of his former private school jacket and expects NOT to stick out. Of course kids look at him like a freak and the tough kid beats his ass. So Charlie comes up with a brilliant idea after meeting with a psychiatrist. He is going to go into business with the school tough guy and sell his Ritalin and other prescribed drugs to his classmate as a recreational drug. And so the typical teenage wackiness begins!

He opens his business in the boys bathroom giving counseling advice to his teenage patients and selling pharmaceutical drugs after the sessions. Of course he becomes the talk of the school and is now the prescribed drug king pin of the school. And isn't that so cool! This movie glorifies it while minority kids who do the same thing are considered " scum" or "animals" in society.

Well it doesn't take too long before he is kicking it with the Principal's daughter and the really cool Principal (Robert Downey Jr) that is hated by the school takes notice to Charlie's popularity. Unknown to him that Charlie is the " safe drug" mafia don of 'Lilly White" High!

Yada yada this, yada yada that. Charlie scores with the Principal's daughter. We find out that Charlie's dad is some white collar criminal doing time. And we find out this is the reason why Charlie feels so misplaced in life.

Of course there has to be a downfall to Charlie's drug selling and it comes in form of one of the student's OD ing on some of Charlie's sedatives (of course he is OK). We later find out the kid tried to end his life because he was unpopular in school. The really cool Principal confronts Charlie but does not expel him. Charlie stops selling but gets into even further trouble with the principal later in the movie. All of which is too lame to mention.

Charlie hits principal, principal presses charges, daughter's mad that Dad AKA principal gets Charlie arrested for assault, students start riot, principal loses job, Charlies gets bailed out by mom who grounds him for 30 hours (insert eye roll),Charlie meets up with principal, both have a very sensitive conversation, Charlie realizes that he just a kid, principal bonds with daughter, tough guy finds love, and not one single kid who purchased drugs from Charlie ever became a addict.

THE END

On the PURE ASS scale which is 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest. Charlie Bartlett scores a 8! The story was at best a made for NOGIN movie that left me wondering why it took me three days to finish watching this nice little slice of "hot mess". It was like a bad version of "Ferris Bueller" meets "Scarface" except without the bad accents (there was one very bad British accent),multiple guns (there was ONE gun in the movie) and most important...comedy!

Acting was decent to pretty good. Can't blame the actors for this rancid shit. But would it be worth paying ten dollars to see?

The answer is HELL NO!